This sketch was rejected from the show by my sketch group Hashtag because they were tired of CSI sketches. INT. CRIME SCENE Detectives CARUSO and CLEVELAND examine a DEAD BODY. CARUSO: What do you have, Detective Cleveland? CLEVELAND: Well, Caruso, from the position of the body, it looks like he was thrown through the window from [...]
ROMNEY: “Oh, honey?…Nevermind.” END Share:
ROMNEY: Oh, honey! Could you call my accountant and have him brush my hair? END Share:
ROMNEY: Oh, honey, could you call my accountant and have him do my taxes? END Share:
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Dear Fred, I’m writing to you to today to ask for a very important favor. As you remember, when we were teenagers we got into trouble. Lots of it. And my dad would always bail us out! Well, my dad’s in some trouble of his own now and I need your help! (Please pardon the [...]
Seriously. This isn’t a joke. This isn’t another of my crazy monologues where at the end you find out I’m a bat or some bullshit. I’m in a sketch group. That’s partly why I haven’t been posting as much. I’m going to try to start doing it some more, but I’m writing a ton of [...]
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
New Years Celebration The huge crowd in Times Square watched the ball drop as they counted down: “3…2…1…Happy adolescence!” they shouted at the naked teenager with newly descended testes. Practical Advice It’s never a good idea to leave your car running while you go into a store to grab something. Especially if that something is [...]
