Junk Food For Your Brain

Blue Cross Blue Shield
1435 Rock Ridge Drive
Oxnard, CA 93031

Dr. Gregory House MD
Bethesda Medical Center
Mondays at 10 on FOX

RE: Your recent invoices

Dr. House:

We have received your latest invoices for case #23980-C but we require further information before we are able to process these claims. Please respond to the inquiries listed below at your earliest convenience:

1. We request a more detailed break down of the 49 billable hours initially labeled as “Thinking time” which you indicated included “Bouncing a ball against a wall.” “Watching someone eat a slice of pie.” and “Overhearing a random sentence.” While we appreciate that these activities helped you solve the case somehow, these activities have no billable codes and thus are not covered by this, or any, insurance policy. Codes can be found in the Blue Cross Policy Manual located in your Human Resources department.
2. Regarding the Blue Cross Policy Manual, please do not simply return it to us with a post-it attached that reads: “Used All”. Even if you did indeed use every procedure in the book you must indicate each one separately on the appropriate forms.
3. We would like to remind you that our policies do not cover any of the following procedures which you continue to submit:  (1) Making the patient clinically brain dead for 3-5 minutes so you can flush her system with anything. (2) Removing any internal organs based on a “hunch” and without prior approval. (3) Breaking and Entering (Which we remind you AGAIN is illegal.) and (4) Any ethically or scientifically dubious procedures such as injecting a patient with morphine to deliberately induce seizures or cutting out a patient’s brain and replacing it with a piece of their toe.
4. Finally, please decide on a final diagnosis BEFORE you submit any paperwork.

Thank you for your prompt attention to these matters. We hope this will be our final correspondence as in the future we will exclude coverage from work done by you on all of our plans.

Thank you,

Shirley Kilmore
Senior Code Specialist
Blue Cross Blue Shield

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